i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
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