eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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