So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
