the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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