Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
