Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
