Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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