So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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