I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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