I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
there is puke in my bra ... again
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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