She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
