just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
