im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
