dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
