i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
