You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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