so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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