But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
