i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
