And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This beer is not sobering me up at all
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
