There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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