but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Randomize
