you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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