Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
