She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
