just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
