don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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