That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
