in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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