Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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