my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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