I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
