Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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