wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Randomize
