i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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