i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
