he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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