i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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