Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
