if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
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