So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
sex in a hospital.. check
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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