She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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