he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
