I'm really into asian looking animals
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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