he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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