Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
