My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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