she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
