Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Randomize
