drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Randomize
