wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
