You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
