Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
