If i come over, it means nothing
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Randomize
