What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
4 words: hood of his car
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
